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Twits.
Saturday, December 15, 2007

     
Twits - How exactly do we define them ?
In my point of view , twits need not be your typical ah lian or ah beng . It is not used to describe a person's dressing or behaviour , but rather , it is used to describe the very way people communicate .

Essentially , when we interact with others , be it online or in a text message , we would type "like this" . We would spell our words as they were meant to be spelt , we would not use any Singlish and neither would we add in hanyu pinyin . Anything that doesn't meet these 3 criteria would turn out "lykk dhhis" . Although it takes a twit ( I'll be putting myself in their ultra smelly shoes .) to understand a twit , I have decided to do up a post on these amazing people .

Don't they ever get tired of adding on additional alphabets to words ? As in , can you imagine having to add in an extra "x" or "z" into a word ? It's as if they find words too short for their liking that they have to fill in extra alphabets of their choice . Perhaps , being chintzy , miserly people , they have come to a conclusion that if they do not make full use of the 160 letter limit in a text message , they would be letting their 5cents down and hence , their decision to put in more alphabets so that they may utilize ALL 160 letters .

Honestly , I think they're suckers . And really , really selfish beings . Because of them , people have to squint their eyes and place their eyes in all sorts of awkward positions just so that they can understand what they're trying to say . And because of this constant squinting and focusing , the lens gets abused and these people end up being short sighted screw ups . This results in parents having to drag their reluctant offsprings to the optometrist . BLOODY HELL and they think they're so cool screwing up people's eyesights . They must derive some kind of exhilarative thrill out of ruining other people's visions . What are they , sadists ? If "cool" is what they really want , I have one word of advice : get an air conditioner .

Nobody really wants to spend one whole fucking day trying to decipher what they're trying to say , really .

After much practice , I have finally discovered of a techinique that you can use in order to read what they trying - so desperately - to tell us !
1) Rub your eyes real hard and add a drop of eye drop to moisten your eyes .
2)Pick up a twit-ish text from any leading socializing website or grab a twit's handphone and read the text messages in her/his "sent items" box .
3)Put "Speed Reading" into good use by ignoring all the repetitive letters and place your own letters into any word ( that doesn't sound right) as you deem fit .
See , twit reading in three easy steps !

Okay , try it on this to see if it works :

Schools (Other):
++ thhe efuckkiingg nann chiiau hhighh schh .. ++
Occupation:
++ we are onii studdenn .. ++
Hobbies and Interests:
Liisteniin 2 Musiic . Watchiin T.V . Playiin Com .
Favorite Books:
BOOKS !?! *snooze*
Favorite Movies:
Lotz . Wanna Noe . Check Our Own Ac .
Favorite Music:
Lotz . Wanna Noe . Check Our Own Ac .
Favorite TV Shows:
Lotz . Wanna Noe . Check Our Own Ac .
Zodiac Sign:
Scorpio
About Me:

ZerO One# *_slattery _*
ZerO twO# * _ddeliia_*
ZerO thRee# *_wenhuiiZ_*
ZerO fouR# *_ddaphhne_*
ZerO fiivE# *_ddOreen_*
ZerO siix# *_weiitiing_*
ZerO seVen# *_jOelyn_*
ZerO eiight# *_beE xian_*
frenZ-foreva!!
Who I Want to Meet:
""" xiiang ren sii wo men , den add . u add we accept jus tiis siimple . """"

Disclaimer : This blogger shall not be liable if the readers still do not get what the twit is trying to say or if you get myopic despite following the technique .

Although twits do not describle ah lians/ ah bengs (aka ALAB) , most of the ALAB's that you can find would normally incorporate the use of such a language into their daily conversations . Hence , the twit language has thus become one major characteristic of the ALAB's .

It's really fascinating how a twit can understand a fellow twit but normal human beings like us can never understand them . Oh well .

-Stranger

3:50 PM
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